Always Remember Page 3

  "Well of course I did, you took your shirt off on purpose. I mean you do have a nice body, and you know it. Such a big beautiful chest, completely hairless too, almost like an Indian. And I certainly enjoyed lookin'. Your nipples got hard as rocks every time I looked straight at you. It was a dead giveaway." She said and saw him blush. "Well you certainly couldn't hide that with your shirt off. I knew you wanted me. Always have. Since you were just a kid. You wanted me to notice you. I’d never seen a chest so pretty as yours, so tan and hairless, and slick. I wanted to lick it all over."

  "If you hadn’t kissed me like you did, I’d have never touched my brother’s betrothed and you know that's the truth." Hank said, as he leaned down and kissed her breast once more. Then his fingers played there, content with just touching her when he pleased.

  “I couldn’t help myself. I mean, there you were, with your eyes on me, looking at me so. Why your stare practically burned a hole in my clothes. I felt completely undressed. Naturally it excited me. You excite me, the way you always want me. Besides, Leroy was gone." She protested. "You had been eyein’ me too ever since he left. I saw you spying on me a couple of times, and watchin’ my window at night. Why do you think I stood there to undress." She chuckled. "I knew you were down there, tryin’ to catch an eyeful. And it was only right since you gave me so much bare chest to admire."

  "I'd never seen such a beautiful woman. You stirred me so. I was younger, now I’m fully growed, and I aim to claim you." Hank announced, before his lips began working their magic again. Rose squirmed as his kisses became more intense. Her nipples were so puckered they hurt.

  "Why do you kiss my nipples all the time? Do you like them that much?"

  "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. And your breast…are lovelier than a rose beginning to bloom. Dark and rosey and they stand up for me. Almost like a salute."

  "W-what do you mean you're claiming me? What are you thinkin’?" She pulled away to look up into his clear blue eyes. Her breast dangled between them as she leant over him. He put his mouth over one manipulating it with his tongue.

  Rose momentarily forgot her objections, as she responded to his loving.

  When he came up for air, he smiled contentedly.

  "I’m sayin’ you’re mine, you’ll always be mine. Whether Leroy likes that idea or not."

  "But Hank, Leroy don't have to know at all. We can still see each other. There’s no need for that. I mean, what if he can't satisfy me?" She rose up to run her fingers against his hairless chest, caressing his erect nipples. Never had she seen a chest so silky smooth as Hank’s. It felt like a piece of her velvet dress. He looked down, and quickly claimed her fingers for his mouth. She leaned back and let him take complete advantage as he stroked each finger with his tongue. In and out, in and out, she sighed again. The implications of his actions sent ripples of awareness through her. The way he stroked them with his tongue sent hot flashes up and down her. She wanted him again, but if she kept this up, she wouldn't get a lick of work done today. Not that she preferred working, but it was expected.

  His touch ignited fires that were hard to ignore.

  "It wouldn't be a secret long. I don’t know. I cain’t stand not having you, the way you sashay around the yard, And me knowin' there ain't nothin' under that dress. Leroy would notice sooner or later that we had eyes for each other."

  "Am I that exciting to you?" She laughed softly.

  "Stop laughing at me, it's not funny. You know you are. We gotta be careful. Leroy has a nasty temper, if he comes back and catches us, there will be hell to pay. Why don’t we just tell him? He’s bound to find out sooner or later. We do this too much. And we enjoy it too much to stop."

  She gasped. "Funny, I was thinkin' we don't do it enough. Are you sayin’ you want to stop?"

  "Hell no. All I’m saying is we got to be careful when he comes home, that’s all."

  She nipped playfully at his taut skin.

  "Even though you're mine, I aim to marry you in my time, not his. We got to be careful until then, I agree," Hank said. "At least for a while. I need to make some money of my own first."

  "You’re a farm boy, Hank, how you gonna make any money? Besides, I don’t want your money. I want you." She pinched him lightly. "I like things just the way they are."

  "If I had money, I could take you away from here."

  "Well, I won’t hold my breath on that one. But that doesn’t matter, I’ll always love you, you know that." She whispered, pulling him back down into the hay. She kissed his mouth softly, tugging on his bottom lip, nipping at him. “You’re the only one that knows me well enough, knows what I like, how I want you to take me. And we think alike…mostly."

  "Say it again." He held her in his arms.

  "What?" She pretended innocently. "That you love me."

  "I do. I cain’t lie. I love you truly, Hank. Not just because you know how to love me, but I can talk to you. That’s important. I know I can tell you anything." She whispered, as something niggled in the back of her mind. Hank smiled and began to kiss her everywhere. Distracted from the twinge, she rolled in the hay, giddy at his delight. "Oh darlin’ it’s true, you know how to please me, like no other." She thrust her breast high for his immediate attention and he smothered his face there, his hands circling her and holding them close together so he could kiss each nipple. "And you always want me…I like that. Any girl would."

  Later as he pleased her again, he rose up over her.

  "Yeah well, then you need to tell George and Jacob to keep their distance." Hank rolled away for a minute to look into her face.

  Rose considered his demands, and understood them, but she also understood that Jacob and George needed her too.

  "But honey, if they get mad, they’ll tell Leroy everything when he comes home. I got to share myself a little, to keep everybody happy. Is it really so bad? There isn’t anyone else to be with them, and they get lonely too. George especially would tell. He can get a little testy sometimes. You know how he is. Besides, George don’t want much, sometimes all he wants to do is look at me without any clothes on. I swear the way he looks at me, like I'm a piece of candy he can't have. Sometimes it's just , to hold me, or kiss me. He don't always take me. Why George, he ain’t got no woman. He's so alone. I mean, there isn’t anyone else, except Josey, and you know she wouldn’t. And Jacob, poor Jacob, who’s he gonna make love to. Why honey, it’s my duty to keep all the men on this farm happy, don't you think? It don't really hurt to pleasure someone. Someone who's alone all the time and has no one. Don’t worry; I’ll always have time for you. You’re the best."

  She kissed him on the neck, but her mind was running wild with other thoughts. "Do you think Josey would ever tell?"

  "Josey’s a kid. She couldn't even say the words."

  "So were you two years ago, but we changed all that, pretty fast, didn’t we."

  "Maybe Leroy will be killed and won’t come back from the war…"

  "Hush up with that kind of talk, you don’t mean that. I know you better than that. You aren't that cruel, and you know it. Besides, he’s your brother, silly goose." Rose slapped him lightly on the cheek, and kissed him tenderly when he frowned. "Oh God, Hank, you make me so happy. I love our mornin’s when we roll out here in the hay and have a good time. You’re so special to me. I look forward to bein' with you every day."

  "I can’t help it. I want you for myself." He said and kissed her hard on the lips again.

  When they heard Josey's soft footsteps coming, they grabbed their clothes, dashed the hay from each other, and stood up as though they were working on scattering the hay in the stall.

  Josey stood at the entry staring at them, but even though she crimsoned, she said little. "Just getting the eggs," she mumbled.

  "She knows." Hank whispered as Josey left a minute later.

  "So, she ain’t gonna tell nobody." Rose assured him. "She don’t know enough about what we are doin’ to tell anybody. Besides, Josey’s not the kind to te
ll off on someone. Especially about somethin’ like this."

  “You sure like to flirt with trouble don’t you?” Hank frowned.

  "I sure do…now kiss me one more time before I go back inside." she murmured. Hank didn't hesitate to do just that. He kissed her lips then bent to kiss her nipples. She shivered with delight.

  Rose growled in her throat. “God knows I love you.”

  "Tomorrow…" She smiled as she pulled out of his embrace.

  "One of these days, Rose," he threatened.

  She snickered and ran toward the big house. She pulled her shawl over her so they couldn’t see what Hank had been doing as her dress was wrinkled in places.

  "Where you been, Rose?" Her mother hollered as she entered the kitchen to help with the noon meal.

  "I been sloppin’ the hogs, and feedin’ the dogs and givin’ the chickens scratch." Rose answered quickly. "Where do you think I’ve been, Mama?"

  "Well, you didn’t bring in the eggs like I told you to, I had to send Josey out for them." Her mother said, giving her a slight glance.

  "Well, I stirred the hay in the stalls so it’s nice and soft for Hard Tack." She smiled at her mother. "You know Hard Tack likes a soft bed of hay."

  "Looks like the hay stirred you. Look at the bottom of your dress." Her mother nodded to the hem, as she set the fried chicken on the table.

  "Josey, where’s Hank?" Her mother asked as she began to mash the potatoes.

  Rose smiled to herself, as she watched Josey shoot her mother a quick frown. Why didn’t her mother ever ask her where Hank was? She could tell her.

  "I don’t know…workin’ I reckon." Josey replied then glanced at her.

  "Well, get outside and get him and the others up to the table. Don’t want the food going cold now," she insisted.

  "Yes ma’am." Josey shot her another glance and went outside.

  ~*~

  "Hank?" Josey called.

  Hank came running out of the barn, with a pitchfork in his hand.

  "Time to eat."

  "I’ll be right in. I’ll go tell the others."

  Josey nodded and went back inside. She’d seen Hank’s look of guilt on his face. He always turned so red when he was with Rose. It really wasn’t his fault. Her sister had spoiled him for other women.

  Winding her hair around her fingers, she watched her mother and Rose set the table. She should be helping, but bile rose in her stomach every time she looked at her beautiful sister and mother together.

  She longed for her mother’s attention, some special time set aside just for them, like she and Rose seemed to have. The morning on the porch so long ago was the nicest day she’d had in a long time, but that didn’t happen often.

  They were as different as night and day. Rose was the beauty of the family. She had the nicest dresses and the most of everything. Her mother spoiled her. Josey, on the other hand, was the practical daughter who minded and never got a thank you. Still, she wouldn’t waste her life pitying herself. Just the way life was. Josey knew she had to take what she could get when she could get it.

  Rose and Hank had been rollin’ in the hay together, Josey knew that much. But as much as she despised her sister’s behavior, she wouldn’t tell on her either. She loved Rose too. Someday…someone was gonna catch her, and Josey wanted to be around when it happened.

  Of course Josey only knew from what she saw on the farm. Only Rose didn’t know that she saw. Josey had caught them once, making love, in the barn, and spellbound, she had watched for a long time. She reasoned she had to learn these things somehow, so she paid close attention. Her sister was a master at making love obviously because Rose seemed to enjoy it every time. Funny but she got the idea that sex wasn’t as pleasant for everyone, as her mother never spoke about such things. Only that sex was not always a pleasant thing to endure, but a duty of a wife.

  Josey had wished her mother would open up to her, but so far, there had been no conversation about what a man and woman should share.

  She wondered what Leroy would think if he knew. Poor Leroy fighting in the meanest war ever while his beloved cheated on him. Why couldn’t Leroy see her as she really was?

  Hank was too young and innocent to go to war, according to his own mother. She'd coddled him as badly as her mother did Rose. Perhaps they did have a lot in common.

  Only three men worked on the Anderson farm. Rose knew them all in more ways than one, but she favored Hank whom she molded for her own pleasure. She never threw a challenge down, that Hank couldn't meet.

  Josey couldn’t be sure of the other men and her sister, she’d never caught them, and she decided quickly she didn’t want to.

  Josey shook her head and went to the table. She poured generous helpings of milk for all the hands and went back in the kitchen to tend the cobbler in the oven.

  No one paid much attention to Josey, and she didn't mind. She felt born into a strange family at times. Although her mother was near sainthood, she still had a weakness for her oldest daughter that left Josey sad at times. Josey took off her apron and came to the table, shrugging the blues away. She missed Leroy. He was the only sane one around, besides her mother. She couldn’t voice that opinion since Rose was promised to him.

  Rose sat at the head of the table, like a queen. Although Josey was sure she didn’t possess the mental qualities to run a farm, she was a beautiful figurehead.

  The men came in from the fields, washed their hands, and sat down at the table with the women. Jacob was always the cleanest, Josey decided, he washed his hands, face and neck, got all the sweat and grime off before coming to the table. He folded his napkin in his lap, and he never smacked at the table. Where he had learned his manners, she wasn’t sure, but she appreciated them. He was a handsome Negro if ever there was one. Always so clean. In fact, Jacob was a big part of the family, and they had all accepted him long ago.

  "Lord, we thank you for this food we are about to receive. For the hard work it took to put it there. And the ability to do that work. Amen." Their mother muttered.

  Rose did her usual small talk at the table and flashed her eyes at Hank a time or two.

  Josey looked around the room and felt as though she saw everything as an adult now, and that changed things. Before she had become a woman, she was happy here, but there was no longer a reason to be happy. She silently wished she hadn’t watched Rose in the barn with Hank. Innocence had been lost that day.

  "How’s the corn lookin’ this year, Jacob?" Ruby asked.

  "Fine ma’am, just fine." Jacob smiled and cast Rose a quick glance. "Be ready for pickin’ in another week."

  "Good, Rose can help with the pickin’ then."

  "But Mama…"

  "You heard me, you’ll do the pickin’. When you set your mind to it, you’re the best and the fastest." Their mother declared and Josey noted that her mother used a certain strategy on Rose that worked. She complimented her and Rose was her slave.

  "George, did you fix that plow?"

  George slicked his dark hair back from his face and nodded. "Yes ma’am I did. Had to make some parts for it, but I got it done, ma’am. Gonna get on mendin’ the fences now. I’ll need some help though, can you spare Hank?" George asked casting a quick look between Hank and Rose. Rose smiled at him.

  "Sure, Hank can help you. That’s what he’s here for," their mother announced. Hank tried not to react to that statement.

  "Josey, I want that butter churned this afternoon, and you can check the garden for watermelons too." Her mother directed.

  "Yes ma’am."

  "Rose, I want you to hem your dress and lay out a new pattern for Josey…"

  "A new pattern for Josey?" Rose coughed slightly. "But Mama, I thought that new pattern was for me?"

  "Then you thought wrong…it's for Josey. She’s growin’ up in case no one noticed and she’ll be going to the dances now, with you. Whenever we have one again. I reckon we will when the war is over," Their mother reflected. "When the rest of the men come home
. Right now, there ain’t enough to have one."

  "Mama I heard the guns today, to the north. Are they getting closer?" Josey asked.

  "I’m sure they are."

  "Josey’s going to the dances with me?" Rose glanced at her sister. "But Mama…"

  "You will do as I say." She stood up and looked at her children then at the men. "As long as you live here, you will do as I say."

  Then she walked off. Josey stared at her mother’s retreating figure. Her eyes had widened at the adamant request. Everyone noticed. They were stunned. For their mother never spoke harshly. She might get a bit testy, but never harsh. Her mother never raised her voice…until today.

  Chapter Three

  Josey excused herself to see about her mother. Perhaps she was unwell. She knocked on her mother’s door.

  "Come in." Ruby gave a whispered response.

  Her mother’s voice sounded strained and weak.

  Josey opened the door, and saw her lying on the bed. Fear griped Josey; her mother was not the kind to take to her bed until bedtime.

  "Mama, are you all right?"

  "Just a little under the weather is all. Come in child, sit beside me."

  Her mother had a bottle of medicine on the dresser and Josey noted she had never seen it before, scaring her witless but she kept quiet. Was something wrong and she wasn’t telling anyone? That would explain her sharpness at the table.

  Josey rarely came into her mother’s bedroom, and then only to clean. However, she loved how delightful her mother kept the room, with doilies on the dresser, and a warm rug under the rocking chair by the bed. The handmade quilt topping the bed lent a homey look.

  Josey’s mother had never asked her to be with her and that startled her. She sat beside the bed and held her mother’s hand, rubbing it reassuringly. Josey smiled to herself, she knew these wonderful hands. She had held them endlessly as a child. She knew every freckle on her mother's hand. As a child she could see them in her sleep. So reassuring. "I’m worried about you, Mama. Maybe we should fetch the doctor."